Having recently been convinced to read the complete (so far) Fullmetal Alchemist manga - which owns the old anime series so hard in the face that its robotic limbs are poking out its ears (or something) - I've been similarly convinced to do this long quiz meme thing by the effervescent .

Contains some spoilers, if you haven't read the manga.

--General--
1. When did you first discover Fullmetal Alchemist?
Years ago, with the first anime, when I was going through a phase of just watching any anime I'd heard of and which had DVDs within buying distance. My reaction was that it was "okay but over-rated", though the openings kicked a million kinds of ass.

2. Are you happy you discovered FMA?
Sure, why not. It's not One Piece, but it's totally worth it once you get into it and forget about the first anime.

3. Do you consider yourself a fan?
Depends how you define "fan", I guess. By some people's definitions of what a fan is I wouldn't even be considered a fan of One Piece.

So...sort of?

4. Do you recommend the series to other people?
When I'd only seen the first anime I didn't. Nowadays, I totally would; after first recommending One Piece, obviously.

5. Sub or dub?
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub.

6. What do you think of the movie? The OVAs?
I've seen bits of the movie, and I just find it weird and difficult to watch. This is probably because I don't recognise much of what happened in the first anime, but...y'know, whatever.

7. What about the manga? Do you read it?
The manga's what makes it good. Though Brotherhood (based on the manga, ohoo) is nice too.

8. Which episode is the best?
The episode where Lust died is my favourite thus far, but my favourite chapter might be somewhere during the Ishval flashbacks. Serious emotional impact flying around there.

9. Which episode is the worst?
Most of the first anime.

10. Did you cry at any point in the series/movie/OVA/manga?
Most of the way through the Ishval massacre stuff. And through most of the rest of it as well, I cry at pretty much everything in fiction anyway.

11. The best opening/ending song?
Opening: Rewrite
Ending: Kesenai Tsumi

12. The worst opening/ending song?
Opening: Undo
Ending: Every other ending from the original series

--Characters--
1. Who's your favourite character?
Sheska. Cute, geeky minor characters need more panel time.

2. Who's your least favourite character?
Hard to say, really. A lot of characters annoy me one moment and kick ass the next; Olivia Armstrong is probably the best example of this. For all sorts of reasons I've never been a fan of the military hardass type, but she makes up for it by shooting jerks in the face. Hard to complain about that.

3. Which character do you think is the most misunderstood?
Beats me. Scar, I guess?

4. Which character is the most under-rated?
Sheska, hands down. Made of awesome and a side of fries.

5. Which character has the worst past?
Scar, probably.

6. Is Ed actually short?
I'm taller so ha

7. So…do the Homunculi have souls or not?
"Soul" is a pretty subjective term. I don't believe in souls in the first place so I can't take this from that angle and the concept hasn't been defined in the series to the point where I could really say much about it, so hell if I know. If a being can be sentient and sapient without a soul, I dunno what it'd need it for anyway.

Mind you, I guess with a philosopher's stone at their cores they'd have a bunch of souls, vying for control. Or something.

8. Do you like Dante?
I remember precisely nothing about Dante whatsoever. That's probably a bad sign as major villains go.

9. Do you hate Winry?
Winry is only slightly below Sheska on the Awesomeness Ladder, so no.

10. What about Rose?
As above.

11. Would you go on a date with Havoc?
I don't think my breasts would be big enough for him, what with being a dude and all.

12. Do you consider Scar a hero or a villain?
To say either outright would be missing the point.

13. What was your first impression of Armstrong?
Alex: "This guy is going in my list of top five best characters in this and he's never coming off it."

Olivia: "I'm so going to hate her."

14. Who's more disturbed: Envy or Kimbley?
Depends what you mean by "more disturbed". There's an eerie level of coherence in Kimbley, whereas Envy is effectively driven insane with jealousy from the start.

15. Did you like Hughes better after he died?
Not really, he was spiffy enough beforehand.

16. What about Greed?
One of the better Homunculi, yeah.

17. Did you like Pride better before you found out he was a Homunculus?
Manga Pride, no. Manga Pride is awesome.

Anime Pride is boring.

18. If you were Roy, would you have killed Winry's parents under orders?
Can't say what I'd do in that situation since I've never been in that situation and the mind is a funny thing, but I'd like to think I'd have the courage to tell my superiors to fuck off.

This is one of the many, many reasons why I'd be a pretty rubbish soldier; I don't do things I disagree with, so I expect I'd end up being court-martialed at some point for not following orders or some such. Indeed, the fact that the military effectively necessitates that even majorities within its ranks pretty much have to do what they're told no matter what and are willing to do what they're told regardless of their conscience is half the reason the world is in the state it is.

19. Was Hohenheim justified in leaving Envy after he created him, or was Dante the better parent?
Like I say, I remember very little about the first anime so I have no idea what you're talking about. So here's the eighth result on a Google image search for "beans on toast".

20. Why does Al wear a loincloth?
To tease the ladies.

21. Why does Envy wear a loincloth?
To tease the...ladies?

22. Did you think Envy was a girl the first time you saw him?
No, but I do remember pondering over it later when I started to notice that his outfit seemed like a weird choice for a guy.

23. Who's the best side character? (Present in two episodes(CHAPTERS) or less!)
Let's say Sheska because I can't remember how many episodes or chapters she was in it for.

24. Who's the most annoying side character?
One of the Chimeras or one of the Briggs soldiers or something, probably.

25. Which characters, if any, do you think are overrated?
All characters that aren't Sheska.

26. Who's a better Greed: the original, or Ling?
Ling.

27. Do you forgive Tucker for what he did to Nina?
Nah. Tucker's kind of a dick. If I recall correctly he was portrayed a bit more sympathetically in the first anime since he lived somewhat longer, but he was still kind of a dick.

28. Do you forgive Scar?
No, but forgiveness isn't really the point. He's meant to be an unforgivable character with whom other characters have to get over their differences without the ability to forgive, after all.

29. Who's prettier: Lust or Riza?
Well, not Lust. Lust has that goth makeup thing going on and it's ew.

30. Is Gluttony ugly?
Shush, Gluttony's adorable.

31. What's Dante's sexual preference?
Uh. Pansexual?

32. Which character is the best looking?
Sheska.

33. Which character is the worst looking?
That crazy mucus chimera guy freaks me out.

34. If you could see one character naked, who would you choose?
Guess

--Fandom--
1. What's your favourite pairing(s)?
Sheska x Winry. Yes.

2. What's your least favourite pairing(s)?
Uh...Sloth x Pride?

Extremely disturbing Skitty on Wailord action there. I suppose. Either one would get squashed or the other would get eviscerated/eaten/etc

3. What pairing makes the least amount of sense?
Scar x Kimbley.

Yeah.

Actually no, they'd have some spicy Buffy-and-Spike style rival lovin' I think.

So I dunno...Sheska x Sheska? Hot, but not technically possible. Because they're the same person.

Actually I'd quite like a Sheska x Sheska x Sheska love triangle. MAKE IT HAPPEN, ARAKAWA. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

4. Which is better: FMA yaoi, or FMA yuri?
Much as I actually don't mind yaoi (since it's marketed at the ladies for the most part it tends to have some genuinely quite sweet romance and I like that), yuri still has the lesbian thing going on sooooooo y'know.

5. Do you read/write FMA fanfiction?
I read some of it. I haven't written any fanfiction of anything in a long time.

6. Do you look at/draw FMA fanart?
See above.

7. What do you think of FMA Mary Sues?
Same as I think for every other Mary Sue. Write them if you want, I can't complain about that, just don't try to pass them off as technical brilliance.

8. Crossovers?
FMA crossed with...ONE PIECE. YEAH. GOMU GOMU NO ALCHEMY

9. FMA AUs?
A FMA AU where Sheska has been cloned and all the clones hang out would be the greatest AU ever.

10. Office sex?
Can't say I've ever tried it but I'd imagine it'd be uncomfortable.

Wait, what?

11. Do you think people write Envy OOC most of the time?
Yyyyyyyes. But then, I tend to find that most people write most people OOC most of the time soooo.

12. Which is more canon (in the anime): Elricest or EdWin?
EdWin, probably.

13. Which is more canon (in the anime): Royai or RoyxHughes?
HUUUUUUGHES

14. Would Dante ever open up to anyone?
Who cares. I barely even remember what she looks like.

15. Is Envy gay, or would he go with a woman as well?
Sure, why not.

16. Does Ed really have a crush on Roy?
Yes. Yes he does.

Leather jockstraps.

17. Does Roy return the feelings?
Roy is the seme in this relationship. So hell yeah.

18. What is the most plausible (non-canon) het pairing?
Sheska x still-hot-but-somehow-male clone of Sheska

19. The most plausible yaoi pairing?
Al x somebody. Al's quite feminine in a nice sort of way.

I guess.

20. The most plausible yuri pairing?
Sheska x Winry. Totally serious this time.

21. Can Envy make m-preg work?
If he were a dude he'd totally work that shiznaw.

22. Is HughesxGracia cute?
Totally.

23. Who's your favourite fanfiction author?
Who's your favourite Bruce Willis?

24. Do you read doujinshi? If so, recommend a good one!
Nope, so nope.

25. Which is better: non-con or romance?
Romance. I'm such a girl.

Every time I see "non-con" there I read "neo-con" and get the urge to go on some loose political rant.

26. Who is the best character to use in pairings?
Sheska.

27. And the worst?
Scar. Something bothers me about the fact that his arm has explodey powers; how does explodey deconstructive alchemy arm power work anyway? I mean, is it possible for him to just accidentally exploderise anyone he touches if he thinks the wrong thing, or something? That'd pose some problems for his relationships, methinks.

28. Do you get mad at people who don't like the same pairings you do?
My attitude to pairings in anything has always been "who cares", given that they're fictional characters doing fictional things. Fiction is fiction is fiction, after all, so no matter how nonsensical, unlikely or downright illegal it is I'm not really bothered who ships it.